time is spelled m-i-n-e
august 07, 2008 12:30 p.m.
my children are at the lake for four days with my folks. oh yeah. oh yeah. oh yeah.
baby is still here, but you know what, she can't walk yet, so it's all good. i really need this.
the summer has been great. and it's been hard. the 'three kid summer' i like to call it. i've been thankful as my mom and my mom-in-law have supported me each week to have some alone time. can i get an amen? but still. four days is another animal. an animal i like and want to pet and just hang out with and feed sweet morsels of meat and cake.
i took a nap. a nap, people! hear me now. it was only like 50 minutes, but hey, that's why it's called a nap. and then i made the hittinest iced latte. it's good. it's really good! and after it's effects kick in i will begin to buzz around and clean this house.
so.
that's what i'm doing.
~z
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vibrating chairs
july 28, 2008 07:27 a.m.
baby is fussy. sort of a talking smiley fussy that is very sweet. abraham is dressed in full policeman garb and has handcuffed eleanor to a table. my bible is opened to 1 samuel 17 and my coffee cup is not half full or half empty, it just is.
enjoy your day,
zena
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follow the yellow brick road
june 30, 2008 11:17 a.m.
hello!
links. that's what i have for you today. links. the first one is wonderful, wonderful. the national down syndrome congress is putting together public service campaign called, 'more alike than different." it's amazing. there are several commercials at the bottom of the page i'm linking to, watch them all, please.
more alike
and then there's this one. a devotional link, if you will. take the time and watch it why don't ya?
peace i give to you
enjoy!
z
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good thing
june 14, 2008 02:21 p.m.
limits are a good thing.
today i went to get a latte. decaf and soy weren't options. then i headed to aldi. you buy the aldi brand. period. lastly we headed out to the blue nile for dinner. ethiopian. meat or vegetarian. that's it. that's the menu. it was amazing.
i could benefit from less choices.
~z
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willing and able
june 12, 2008 05:44 p.m.
when i lived in chicago the faint, lace early years of marriage, i took a job. i was told where to show up, so i drove to a quiet tree lined street and saw something you'd never imagine. children off the grid.
children that had been in and out of enough foster homes to land here. children whose parents had enough of the behaviors, the fighting and the violence. children that were little more than lap dogs on their medication and predatory without it. oh, and they all were deaf.
i'd been taking sign language classes though a center in a north suburb and found out about the job. day shift in a group home. the staff was deaf and the kids were, too. i'd taken three or four classes and i was presumptive, i thought i could work there. when they had me tour the home before i started, i stared. i'd never seen anything like it. children the world did not display along with people whose hands flew with the agility of tongues. i understood the smallest fraction of that silent, rejected world which resided in that house. i signed one word before i left, 'no', when asked if i'd ever worked with deaf kids before. but i did it. i came back. i went there everyday until we moved to ohio.
lately i've been thinking about two of the kids in particular. the two whose parents were still involved. the ones that picked them up on friday (sometimes) and dropped them off on monday. these kids were tough to manage, no doubt. but how did the families reconcile it?
having a child with a disability, i feel like i can judge a little bit, right? wrong, but oh well, here i am with my blog.
our life has been harder lately. it's been a little like swimming upstream without water. it's been frustrating. in my mind i began to target the challenges of disability as the crux. but i was wrong. the true core of our problem was our inability to change.
if your life isn't working in some respect, throwing the baby out with the bathwater isn't the answer. the answer looks more like; being bold enough to change expectations. being brave enough to accept that your world may look very, very different than even the stranger lives you've known before it. and that's where we find ourselves these days.
the biggest temptation is not a group home. no. the biggest temptation is to do things the same way as before and blame those least responsible.
i've got to go. a baby crying on my shoulder and plans to get to in a little bit here, but it's been on my mind. i wonder about austin and ariel.
the little boy who'd need at least two basket holds a day and look out if you didn't put a pillow between you to block the head butts. the little girl that would not respond to any consequence for her random, destructive actions until the day i discovered if i made her sit in a chair facing a wall, it was enough to make her begin to think that maybe, just maybe, she'd begin to consider listening to someone. where are they now, ten years later?
~z
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abe moments
june 09, 2008 08:00 a.m.
abe: do you know who the best shaver in the world is?
mom: who?
abe: jesus. he shaves us.
mom: jesus shaves?
abe: yes. he shaves his whole body and he shaves us. he shaves mouths that have long mustaches.
_____________________
abe holds a bumper sticker.
"mom! this says recycle!"
yes, abe, it does.
"we can recycle our whole world! yippee!!"
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wonder time
may 27, 2008 04:38 p.m.
the day has been good.
i think all of my days could be good if i'd receive them with joy. it was a very mommish day. library in the morning, nature center in the afternoon.
oh...and no time to myself.
but that's the game these days folks. that's the game. pray for mazzy if you think to. this week we plan her first official year of kindergarten with the district. wow. i think it'll go well, but you never know.
boring. isn't it?
~z
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give them to me
may 24, 2008 01:24 p.m.
should you wake up a sleeping baby?
eleanor has been asleep for going on the fourth hour. i'm concerned. sort of.
well, i sure forgot what it means to have a new baby, let me tell you what! four years is a long time and time is a convincer that we can do all things well, whenever we want to again. not so much...
i've been waiting eagerly for life to resume as it had before she was born. trying hard to imagine and act as if it were going to be exactly the same, only with a cute, new baby in tow. not so much! the other day i had someone look at me and say, "your lives are never going to be the same as they were before she was born." and tears filled my eyes.
i thought it would.
i thought that and now, i'm seeing how wrong i was. how dangerous i was in thinking that losing control of life would be better. how uncharted my days have become and how hard that is to adjust to.
creatures of habit blown up by one tiny baby. it must be her nature. may she always cause such a stir.
but it's okay. right? it's got to be. we'll adjust to having all of our plans ransacked. we'll get used to the fact that life is going to have to be wrought again. it's not easy...it's not very orderly...
so now for a couple of surprise bonuses.
for all of the attention she takes and demands, abe and mazzy can not imagine life without her. mazzy still will look with wonder at her and point out that, "eleanor is born!"
and
your husband always looks amazingly handsome holding a tiny baby.
and on that note...the crying begins,
z
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elsewhere
may 08, 2008 09:05 a.m.
i've been watching the blog sphere, but haven't gotten much around to writing in it. however, i am writing, just not here.
having another child has me putting down thoughts on mothering in a consistent manner. i'm going to try and do that for one year and see what i end up with. that said, lots of my daily thoughts are winding up there and not here.
so. where does that leave us? i don't know. i don't want to stop blogging and i am still a part of the conversations of other bloggers i know and love. just letting you know where i'm at...
~z
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update
april 26, 2008 07:27 p.m.
deep breath. slowly exhale.
it's a little busier around these parts.
i got away (sort of) today. i rode with nora in the backseat of an explorer to a state park. a dear friend invited us on a mission to find the elusive morel mushroom.
we were not successful, but the air was bright and the sky was clear. thin trees poured shadow across woodland floors covered with last fall's recently uncovered leaves. it was a very nice day.
then we came home and the baby let me know, in not so many words, that i had overdone it and she was done, done, done.
she is only four weeks old. who knew she wouldn't like to traipse through the woods in an orange fleece sling?
deep breath. exhale.
good.
that's all,
z
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